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To quote again from Lord Chesterfield, who says:

“Good sense and good nature suggest civility in general; but in
good breeding there are a thousand little delicacies which are
established only by custom.”

It is precisely these “little delicacies” which constitute the
difference between politeness and etiquette. Politeness is that
inborn regard for others which may dwell in the heart of the most
ignorant boor, but etiquette is a code of outward laws which must
be learned by the resident in good society, either from
observation or the instruction of others.

It is a poor argument used against etiquette that it is not
truthful, and that uncouth manners are more frank and sincere than
polished and refined ones. Is truth then a hedgehog, always 3
bristling and offensive. Cannot truth be spoken in courteous
accents from a kind, gentle impulse, as well as blurted out rudely
and giving pain and mortification? It is true that roughness and
sincerity often abide together, but would it destroy the honesty
to polish away the roughness?

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